- Guest Authors
- Online Dating Tips and Advice
How to Portray the Confidence of a Filmstar
Entering the online dating arena may not be for those who are feeling particularly vulnerable, insecure, or nursing a broken heart. It’s not smart to be dating if you’re not in a good place emotionally. Because if you’re miserable, then you can’t back up the positive, confident and favorably advert of yourself in your profile. And if you can’t back up the positive, confident picture that you painted of yourself in your profile, your facade will be blown off on a first date faster than a cheap toupee.
Writing your online dating profile does not have to elicit groans of, “I can’t describe myself in a few paragraphs. ” Approach this process as one of self-revelation. We guarantee that if you really take some time to think about the message you’re crafting, you’ll learn more about whom you are when it comes to love and relationships. Understanding your own desires will help you put out the right message to attract your ideal match. And, honestly, you’ll have fun if you really allow yourself to get into it - and isn’t that what love is all about?
Get the timing right
Some people are not well served by online dating at all. Maybe your last boyfriend scarred you emotionally. Maybe your parents’ divorce destroyed your self-esteem. Maybe you gained thirty pounds since you stopped smoking. If so, you may want to be careful before getting on the Internet dating superhighway. This medium can take a large emotional toll on someone who is feeling insecure.
Therefore it’s vitally important that you project an air of self-confidence.
This matter of projecting confidence is typically the most important way to impress another person. And if you want people interested in you, then you need to seem interested in yourself.
Ok, so you may have just come out of a relationship and be feeling sad and lonely but whatever you do…don't write about your ex-files. Whether it was an amicable break up or you have a restraining order not go within 500 miles of your ex, it is likely to bring out any feelings of anger, your insecurities or even bitterness you may still have. Think of it this way – would you like to date someone who still talks about his or her ex as if she/he was right there? No one wants to read a list of all the things you hate about your ex and it will certainly put a lot of people off since you may come across desperate and needy which is never an attractive trait.
We all need a little time to breathe and cleanse ourselves before we can successfully move on from a relationship; if we don’t take that time, moving on is rarely going to be successful. A litmus test to determine if you’re ready to date online: If you find that writing your essay was a “cathartic process,” well, you might want to hold off for a bit. This isn’t the time for therapy. This is the time for confident, creative, and positive self-advertising. If you can’t tell if what you’re saying is too heavy (and many of us can’t because we’re too close to the subject matter), ask a trusted friend. You should be getting results from your profile, and if you’re not, your tell-all attitude may very well be the reason why.
Be true to yourself
When you show confidence in being you, it is the biggest turn-on. The trick is not to be boastful, macho or arrogant in your delivery and to show humility. Feeling so good and natural that you have no need to think about being confident is actually the ultimate confidence – but never think of it in terms of confidence, for example:
- You’re happy with yourself
- You’re not afraid of life or what is coming in the future
- You have a positive attitude
- You know where you’re going
- You’re independent, not dependent and needy
It maybe be easier to actually forget the term “confidence” altogether, and just concentrate on feeling good and natural when developing your profile and also when initiating that all important email.
I have come across many friends of mine who are actually dating but aren’t having any success meeting high caliber people because they aren’t confident. Confidence in dating really is important because it allows for you to truly put your best self out there. When you feel confident you won’t settle for less than you deserve, and this is important when you are trying to meet new and exciting people. If you don’t feel confident, you need to work on building confidence, because until you do you will not be successful within the online dating community – period.
15 ways to start building confidence
Here are a number of ways that you can build confidence right now. You may find through some simple exercises that you really do like yourself and you want to be a success with dating. Some of the things that you can do to build confidence include:
1. You first need to establish if you are ready emotionally to date. If you are recovering from a bad relationship that has you down, just take a break from dating until you are really ready.
2. Make a list and write it down of all the things that you do like about yourself. We spend so much time focusing on what is wrong, focusing on what is right will make you feel good. Stop and think and jot down a list of your true shining characteristics and specific unique things about yourself such as a special interest, hobby, or accomplishments. Present the real you, not as you were years ago. Be enthusiastic about yourself and what you have to offer.
3. If you are worried that people don’t like specific things about you, ask your friends to be honest with you about these things. You may find that you are much harder on yourself than other people.
4. Change the things about yourself that you don’t like or that you know other people don’t like after talking with your friends, start with the easiest to change things first.
5. Work on getting in the best shape possible. When you don’t feel good about your body you aren’t going to exude the confidence that you need when dating. Just start working out and you’ll see that you look and feel better right away, but remember to be patient as these changes will take a little while
6. Stop doing the things or hanging out with the people that make you feel bad.
7. Start a new hobby or allow yourself to enjoy something that you haven’t in the past. When you do things you love it will make you more enjoyable to be around.
8. Stop taking things so seriously. When you start to enjoy the little things in life you’ll feel more fulfilled and therefore confident about who you are.
9. Only date the type of people that you really want to spend time with. Don’t settle for someone because you feel like you aren’t good enough.
10. Set some goals for your life as well as romantic goals and share them with the people that you date, you’ll feel great about yourself as you make it known that you are going places. . Other people love to be associated with driven and goal-orientated people. Confidence breeds confidence
11. If you want to convey a sense of confidence then use assertive language of command in your profile, but do not overdo it. Confidence is sexy, arrogance is a deviation. By the same token, bragging is never an attractive quality. There’s a fine line between confident and cocky, and the difference is largely semantic. Many people are uncomfortable talking about themselves for fear of sounding arrogant, but as long as you avoid self-aggrandizing commentary and patronizing jibes at others, you should be just fine.
12. Stop accepting second best. Start making yourself the first priority.
13. Be selective about what kind of person you really like. And by the same token, talk to everyone. The more people who are interested, the higher your confidence levels.
14. Learn to like and love yourself for who you are and what you want from your life. Do not allow negative family comments to influence you in any way.
15. Walk away from anything you don't like and instill a positive mental attitude in everything you do.
As you can see, these are some simple things that you can do to build more confidence and appear more confident when you are dating. It’s not about acting more confident, it’s about doing things that will make you feel good and really learn to love and appreciate yourself.